Navigating Courageous Conversations

NAVIGATING COURAGEOUS CONVERSATIONS

Now, more than ever, we must gain the tools to navigate courageous conversations, which we acknowledge can be difficult. It is our collective responsibility to initiate and respond to systemic racism and systems of oppression that deeply affects the lives of our students, our peers, as well as our campus community. Courage is also needed to navigate everyday disagreements with our colleagues and students.

These conflicting moments and conversations can be positive opportunities for learning, deeper connection and creative problem solving. Commiting to professional and personal growth in our capacity to navigate courageous conversations is an essential skill for faculty and student success. Improving your techniques can positively impact your teaching, your scholarly networks, your service and ability to be an effective leader. 

 

Below is a list of resources as a starting point for you and to share with your colleagues with specific strategies to take into the classroom. However, we want to acknowledge that a faculty member's decision to lead an activity related to the impact of the election or other contentious social moment should be influenced by how well-resourced the faculty member is, as well as contextual factors in any given class. 

  1. Current Events
  2. Strategies for Disagreeing, Deepening Understanding & Maintaining Connection
  3. De- escalating Tensions: Navigating Difficult Dialogues
  4. Anti-Racist Resources, Books and Organizations to Follow on Social Media

 

Current Events

We continue to navigate one of the most difficult periods in recent history that intensifies our community's levels of distress: a global pandemic, historic racial strife, protests, highly contentious political elections among many others. These Fault Lines, Links to an external site. which are those characteristics that divide us as a nation such as race, gender, class, and sexual orientation also appear in our classrooms even if our content isn't explicitly related.

More than ever, we must gain the skills to create opportunities to foster a particular kind of discourse in our classrooms that encourage students to talk about things that matter to them. How do we encourage our students to share views that are different from our own and may be different from other students?

Facing History and Ourselves, a non-profit organization that supports educators in challenging bigotry and hate, creates resources for educators to have these challenging but necessary conversations. Below is a list of resources as a starting point for initiating courageous conversations. 

  • CSUN's University Counseling Services Election Stress Kit Download Election Stress Kit: Before we move into spaces of discussing difficult dialogues, it's important that we ourselves are resourced. Fortunately our University Counseling Services team constructed these tips and resources to cope with the current national discourse. This is for both you and your students. 
  • How do we talk about issues that matter to us? Links to an external site.  This resource helps us explore how can we as educators be equipped to have courageous conversations. The topics or issues that students and ourselves may be struggling with can range from a global pandemic, global wars, an intense contentious election season, and the fight for racial justice. 
  • Other teaching resources for elections Links to an external site. - Helping students think critically about civic participation. As with any election, there will be some disappointments with the results of hard-fought races. This resource is designed to help students think critically about elections and civic participation. 
  • Practical ideas from CSUN faculty; What are CSUN faculty doing? Navigating elections, protests, and other disruptions is part of acknowledging the lived experience and context surrounding our students' learning environment both on and off campus. This page provides a range of ways that faculty might choose to integrate these important social moments and create learning opportunities before and after an election. You can share your practical ideas too!

 

Strategies for Disagreeing, Deepening Understanding & Maintaining Connection

When we gather with others we won't all think, respond, communicate or act in the same ways, especially when the topic centers on diversity, inclusion and equity. If we expect everyone to behave in the exact same ways, then diversity is diminished. In order for us to grow as a community, disagreements and different ways of viewing people and situations needs to be shared. But what is your plan when you disagree with someone?

  • How can you reveal that you have a different perspective without shutting down the dialogue?
  • How can we engage with each other to deepen our understanding?
  • How can we find common ground?
  • How can we establish boundaries, adhere to our core values while not escalating a situation?

The PAIRS guide below might be use to facilitate effective dialogue when you know you'll need a language of disagreement.

 

PAIRS: Pan; Ask; Interrupt; Relate; Share

P: PAN

Pan the environment and yourself. Describe what you notice or engage others based on what you observe.

  • I’m noticing I’m feeling...anyone else?
  • I noticed how quiet everyone got; I’m wondering what is going on for folks?
  • It seems some people were impacted by that statement, am I right?
  • I’m noticing you’re speaking with a lot of energy and emotion…
  • I notice you just got very quiet...looked away…shook your head…
  • I’m noticing that people get interrupted as they try to share...
  • I don’t believe she was finished with her comment…
  • You seemed to have a reaction to what I just said...
  • I’m noticing your tone of voice…body language…

 

A: ASK

Ask about the specifics behind the person’s comment or behavior. Seek to understand. Explore intent.

  • Could you say more about that…Tell me more...
  • Can you give us an example of what you’re saying…
  • Help me understand what you meant...What do you mean when you say…
  • What were you hoping to communicate with that comment?
  • Can you help me understand what your intent was when you said/did...
  • Can you give me some background on this situation...
  • How were you impacted when....What were you feeling when...
  • Help me understand how you came to that conclusion?
  • Help me understand what you disagree with…find frustrating…
  • What is underneath your comment/question?
  • What were you feeling when…?
  • What’s your perspective?
  • What led you to that conclusion?

 

I: INTERRUPT

Interrupt the dynamics. Explore possible solutions. State your desired outcome.

  • Let’s slow down the conversation and talk about what just happened…
  • I’m going to interrupt and try a different approach to this conversation…
  • I have an alternative perspective to contribute...
  • We are not engaging according to our group norms
  • Let’s take a breath…
  • What do you think we can do?
  • What do you see as the next steps?
  • One thought could be to…what do you think?
  • Might it be possible to…
  • This is what I suggest we do…
  • I’m not sure yet how my idea fits with your idea, or if they need to fit together...

 

R: RELATE

Relate to the person or their comment/behavior. Acknowledge and validate their points.

  • I relate to what you’re saying, I…I have felt the same way...
  • I remember a time when I...I did the exact same thing...
  • How do others relate to that comment?
  • What you’re saying seems to relate to what so‐and‐so just said…
  • I hear that you feel...
  • I can see that from your perspective you think…
  • I’d probably feel    , too...

 

S: SHARE

Share about yourself ~ self‐disclose with a story or example; your feelings in the moment; the impact of a comment or behavior, etc.

  • When I hear you say that I think/feel....
  • Just last week I...I remember when I...
  • I was socialized to believe...
  • I’m beginning to feel ____...
  • My heart aches as you tell that story...
  • I notice I’m feeling a little triggered...

Developed by Kathy Obear, Ed.D., www.drkathyobear.com Links to an external site. 

 

De-escalating Tensions: Navigating Difficult Dialogues

What if during a class discussion, tensions escalate and someone says something upsetting, what are your options for responding? Do you freeze, flee, or even fight back? What if there was another option that could result in deeper learning and understanding? What exact words can be said at that exact moment?

 

Open The Front Door (OTFD)

Open The Front Door (based on the work called Non-Violent Communication) is a 4-step process to navigate micro-aggressions or any other conflicting moments using observations, thinking statements, acknowledging feelings and stating desires. San Diego State University's Diversity & Innovation Office Links to an external site. provides a specific example of how to apply these 4 steps along with Souza's (2020) Links to an external site. definitions:

  • Observe: "State in clear, unambiguous language what occurred. Seek common ground here by stating an observation without judgment so that all involved could agree on the speech act, behavior, or incident." For example, "I noticed that you asked Jennifer where she is from originally after she said she is from the Bay Area”;
  • Think: "Express what you think and/or what you imagine others might be thinking based on the observation. This is your interpretation step based on the evidence you have. It’s important here to be generous with your assumptions as to not put the student on the defense." For example, “I think you might be assuming that because she looks Asian, she must not be an American citizen”;
  • Feel: "Express your feelings about the situation. It’s important to take responsibility for one’s own feelings using “I” statements (“I feel upset when…) instead of placing blame (“You made me feel upset when…”). It is also important to actually name an emotion so if the words “I feel” are followed with “like,” this is unlikely to happen. For example, “I feel like you are being insensitive” is NOT naming an emotion and can elicit defensiveness." For example, “I feel uncomfortable with that assumption”; and
  • Desire: "State the concrete action you would like to have happen. For example, this request could be for the behavior to change or for more conversation about the microaggression." For example, “I’d like us to recognize that such assumptions can make people feel like they do not belong and that is inconsistent with the community we are trying to build here.”

To learn about the steps mentioned above, explore a handout by Drs Cynthia Ganote, Floyd Cheung, & Tasha Souza.  For more ideas, the University of Michigan's Center for Teaching and Learning includes resources on facilitating challenging conversations in your classes Links to an external site. and guidelines for discussing difficult or high-stakes topics Links to an external site.. 

 

Anti-Racist Resources, Books & Organizations to Follow on Social Media

One of the first and most powerful moves you can make is to be introspective and examine the way these systems of oppression may present themselves in your classrooms, and your interactions with staff and other faculty members. Acknowledging and then addressing oppression takes courage. Often this process first entails educating yourself; the resources below are intended to spark your curiosity.

Select each topic below to reveal additional information. Most of the links have been compiled by Sarah Sophie Flicker, Alyssa Klein (May 2020).

 

Books to Read:
Organizations to follow on social media:
More anti-racism resources:

Additional Resources